Alhamdulillah the life is getting stable day by day as i did not get myself contaminated with things that might give burden to my brain to process and bla bla bla.
as for me, half of the things that i wrote in my wishlist are beyond our imagination as i know i never wanted something that is ordinary. i always keep in my mind to be out of normal which is extraordinary. keeping the life along with this demanding world full of successful people make me remind myself that i have to stand in that group. be somebody respectful to the society and be the idol that portrays a motivation and give some of them the spirit that they need to rejuvenate their self esteem. it is not easy to stand after you fall down.. sometimes you dont even fall but you roll down. in what ever condition your heart might be, always make yourself as a priority. face the reality and dont even doubt with the threats in life that are always hunting you and might fear you. thats real and you cannot run. FACE IT. not FACEBOOK it. keep to yourself that in whatever you feel, where you stand, Allah will always listen to you. ALWAYS.
i was having a conflict which really puzzled me up to choose the path of my life. im 22, and i know im not old haha.. 27 and 22 are the same because you're 20's! at this age, i just realize the goals that i want to achieve, the person that i want to be, where my life will settle down, what are the dreams that should be realities. I JUST REALIZED! and some of the people came out with their sarcastic words.... "kalau ko tukar course, bila plak ko nak habis belajar?" "bila ko nak kerja?" "bila ko nak tu?" "bila ko nak ni?".. relax lah.. chill lahhhh.. 27 and 22 takde beza la bro! we're 20's.
yeah i decided to change my course from ARCHITECTURE to MASS COMMUNICATION. totally different field, totally different and totally different what i can say! that makes up multiple different!
i could draw but my brain was not functioned to design as that is not my passion
i could continue but ended up i seriously dont want to be an architect
i could simply went to classes but my mind are empty and i didnt know why i learnt this and that.
with my stable mind, after been thinking of the same thing for every second, and after my prayers, i got the answer and what my heart told me the best.. your heart have to go along with your brain. because your brain is the one who will work. the feeling was like facing a real tsunami that would hit me and left me isolated. but i stand on my feet.. i talked with my spirit accumulated as i was very sure what i wanted in my life.. i told my parents that i wanted to change my course. weird faces and responses. i could not turn back time.. i have to hold my words and prove the people. thats all. after i settled down with the clearance in uitm and etc i filled up the form to change my course, i had this feeling which i felt that i wont get to change my course if i want to prolong my study in uitm. there was an issue with the system bla bla bla which i dont want to mess up. i decided to further my study in Segi University College, Kota Damansara. alhamdulillah, there's a bless in disguise and i have been granted with understanding and supportive parents.
everything is different here. the ambience the people circulate around me the weather and everything. i have to be really independent. with the passion in my soul the "LANTAKLAH" spirit i have to confront the traffic congestion every day.. i have to wake up extra early everyday. 6am da kena mandi and all. which in my previous uitm, mandi 15 minit before class pun okay. LOL. so, each day i have to travel from shah alam to kota damansara using NKVE and it takes me about an hour to come to class. thats fine.. im used to it. and it taught me to be punctual and patient. GILA KAU NAK HADAP SEJAM TRAFFIC JAM. eyh capslock plak. but im a person that can really wait. Alhamdulillah. after class i have to face another traffic jam. sampai rumah dah penat. im living alone in shah alam.. previously i got my cousin sister accompanied me.. but it was temporary.. and im living on my own. i dont like to go out just to eat so i cook. fortunately i can cook. thats an advantage for those who really can cook. hehe. aaaa so, facing iftar alone is not that bad. gila masak untuk makan sorang2. mcm tak lalu je makan.. tapi perut kata perlu. so makan. LOL lagi.
all of these taught me to be very independent and can think wise in every action i take. so, for the conclusion (like cewahhh) for whatever you wanted to be real in your life, you have to determine what is your goal. without goal, you just run your life for nothing. work hard on it. not all of the people in life are lucky. some of us need to strive extremely hard to achieve the goal. behind a success, there's must be a failure. and i trust that. just you have to be strong to face everything in front. as for me, i didnt get what i wanted as easy as the people thought. wise decision is the key. i want to prove that this course is not for those who are not qualified to further study in other courses, but im in this field because of my passion. whats inside me.
after all, remember that WHERE EVER YOU STAND, NEVER FORGET THE SKY ABOVE AND THE LAND WHERE YOU STAND. dont forget the people that are always be right behind you supporting you. and how much you are working to get something, that is the amount that Allah will reward you. so kalau cita-cita tinggi menggunung janganlah duduk goyang kaki tangan je. :D
p/s: happy fasting everyone.
Fatin Zulfah Alias